One day the fitness gods saw how cruel boot camp had become and decided to wipe SGT Peterson’s from the face of the earth (along with various other businesses in the same building).  However, a few righteous trainers and boot camp goes among all the people of that time found favor in the fitness gods’ eyes. With very specific instructions, the fitness gods told the trianers to stock life vests and a canoe and themselves and their clients in preparation for a catastrophic flood that would destroy every living thing in UpTown, or just all the carpet in the building.

The fitness gods also instructed the trainers to bring into the canoe and lift off the ground all things most valuable, the Xbox, mini fridge (full of essentials like boxed wine, yogurt and cream cheese) and the speakers for the xm radio. They obeyed everything the fitness gods commanded them to do and but forgot to stock up on mops, sandbags and wet/dry vacs.

After they closed the doors of the gym, rain fell on UpTown for a period of forty days and nights less than an hour. The waters flooded the back alley because the city was wicked and did not clean the drains, and every living thing above and below Hennepin Ave was wiped out.

As the waters receded slowly down the drain once the cover was removed, the gym remained wet with two inches of standing water in the office. The trainers had to wet vac for almost almost more hours while dorm room fans purchased from Target tried to help dry it out.

Finally after an entire weekend, the fitness gods allowed the trainers to remove the fans and sandbags from the door. Immediately, the trainers thanked the interior design gods for not putting padding under the carpet and opened the back doors. The fitness gods were pleased with offerings of sweat and tears from the trainers as they cleaned and started to run happier boot camps and promised never again to destroy the gym as he had just done. Later the fitness gods established a covenant with the gym: “Never again will there be a flood to destroy UpTown, or at least your gym.”

As a sign of this everlasting covenant the fitness gods madesure there was good weather the next few days.

(photos to come!)

Share